Political speak.

Political Speak.

If there is one thing that gives me the pip it’s political posturing. We are having our national elections here in South Africa at the moment so a lot of the more radical politicians are up on their soapboxes washing their mouths in political rhetoric, with statements such as:
“Comrades! We will not be told what to do by some colonial expansionists who don’t recognize our sovereignty. Who are these people who want to bully us? Just a lot of imperialist pigs who want us to call them ‘Boss’! They are the snakes that have come to spread their venom amongst our people! They must all die and go back to where they came from! We do not want these types of people in South Africa! We are not your slaves! We are not here to do your beck and call! We will not listen to anyone who does not think the same as the ANC, because we are proud of our democracy! Amandla!”

Who are these people they talk of? What is a democracy without dissention? And please explain to me when last any one served an emperor unless of course he was talking about Africa’s late Emperor Haile Selassie? What a load of protagonistic hogwash.
Funny how we always need an enemy before we can rally the troops. These references are obviously aimed at the 10% white minority in our country who have about as much power as a dead battery.

Another favorite style our politicians like to adopt is one of talking above the heads of the gathered masses. It would sound something like this:
“Brothers and sisters…the mess a potage of circumstances we find ourselves in is a direct consequence of our own volition. Our inability to comprehend the validation of our own actions. A truly diabolical fruition of magnanimous proportions. Believe me when I say the flagrant contradiction of our democracy can only be verified by the inculcation of our constitutional rights. Viva Africa! Viva!”

This unfortunately only makes sense if you have a Bachelors degree in Bullshit. Who do they think they are addressing? The league of Morons?



The art of politicking is sadly lacking in this country as not even the meaning of democracy has been agreed upon. We must be the only democracy that controls national television, vilifies the freedom of the press, ignores public opinion, is perceived to directly influence the Judiciary, has instigated a black empowerment program, and swears to kill anybody who does not agree with the ruling party. Nice.
And it’s not only the male politicians who suffer from the malaise of ‘Struggle politics’ – the women seem to have an even more developed overbite in their political speeches. Here follows my made-up example:
“Fellow Comrades. Nobody is going to push us around. You strike a woman…you strike a rock. Amandla! The ‘West’ are always telling us what to do. Well, let me tell them something: Hamba soeka wena! We don’t need to listen to you! They say Aids comes from sleeping around. Well, my husband does not need to sleep around. He has many wives. They say women must be thin and wear a bra, but that is only because they want to hide their small breasts. Shame! What can they tell us, when we were the first women to go topless. What can they say, when we are the only women who do not need a perm. What can they teach us, when we do not have anything to learn?”
Well, that about says it all. So I’ll just leave you with this final thought: listening only happens when you stop talking.